Tomorrow, my beautiful boy goes away to school. We fought hard to get him into this school. We took the county to tribunal, spent WAY more money than we could afford, and we won. The decision to fight to take him out of mainstream and into a special school was gradual and only happened as our options were shut down. His problems are complex, and masked by his his intelligence and verbal skills. He has struggled so much over the last 18 months as the other kids in his class have become more mature.
So the special school that he is going to will be brilliant for him.It is residential, and he will be able to come back home every other weekend, half terms and holidays. There is on-site therapy, small class sizes and for the first time in his life, he will be around other kids on the autistic spectrum. There will be other kids with obsessions, sensory difficulties, and who find the world a difficult and unpredictable place. The school know all the tactics that he uses and how to deal with them. They also know that these kids have huge strengths, and celebrate them. Matt will have the chance to shine.
Our life at home will be easier. We can have one twin focussed weekend and one Matt focussed weekend. We will be able to go out without being on constant patrol. We can do family social things. The twins will be able to do whatever clubs they want, and to have friends over. Maybe even sleepovers. They will just be them at school - and not have to deal with whatever pandemonium Matt has caused that day. It will be a hugely positive move for all of us.
My head knows all of this. But my heart hurts. So much. I am giving my most vulnerable child away to others to look after. He is the most cuddly, the most needy and frustrating. And he is in charge of humanely disposing of any giant insects that invade the house!
How will I manage without him?
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